5 mantras for a happier and calmer you

via Health.com by Rosie McCall

Can one simple phrase actually make a difference in your life? According to Sherianna Boyle, the answer is most definitely yes. She is the author of Mantras Made Easy ($15, amazon.com), a collection of chants and slogans meant to help people tap into the power of positive thinking. “Just like you are programmed to respond to the ring of your phone, you can program repeated words and phrases into your subconscious mind,” writes Boyle, a licensed school psychologist and adjunct psychology professor at Cape Cod Community College. “Mantras are a way to clear up negative actions, opening up new pathways for positive ones.” Whether you’re looking to manage your anxiety, find more joy in your life, or summon the courage to start a new chapter, Boyle’s got a mantra that may help. Below are five of our favorites from her book.

To achieve inner peace…

“My breath is deep; my eyes are soft; I am at peace.”

You are taught many things as a child: how to tie your shoes, brush your teeth, and read and write. Breathing is not something most people were taught how to do. As the benefits of mindfulness(and mantras) spread, this fortunately is beginning to shift. You do not have to be formally trained to learn how to breathe well. You can start right now by reciting this mantra. Take a long, slow, deep inhale (inflating your lower belly) and a slow, extended exhale (drawing your navel in), reciting this mantra in between. Do this for five rounds.

To beat anxiety…

“It’s got to be better than I think.”

This mantra takes you beyond your thoughts. It reminds you that your thoughts could never capture the possibilities and magnificence that are available to you when you allow yourself to move through your feelings and detach from thinking. This mantra was passed on to me by Zoe Marae, PhD. She described it as a way to complete what she referred to as “repeaters.” Repeaters are what you can attract into your life based on old patterns. Reciting this mantra opens the doorway to new ways of being, and as this occurs new perceptions will surface. As Candace Pert, author of Molecules of Emotion, shares, sensations create perceptions. Utilizing this mantra gives you a much more open feeling, providing an inevitable shift in the way you see your world…

…there’s no doubt different things work for different people; and different people like different words/language. But there’s also no doubt that if you can find a version of these that sounds right, you’ll enjoy many benefits. 

So keep reading HERE for the full & original article

27 Smart and Simple Ways to Motivate Yourself

“Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice.”
Wayne Dyer

“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.”
Zig Ziglar

“I was thinking one day and I realized that if I just had somebody behind me all the way to motivate me I could make a big difference. Nobody came along like that so I just became that person for myself.”
Unknown

Some days you wake up motivated and ready to go. And some days things feel heavy as you arise and it is hard to get going and find that inner drive.

At least in my experience.

So over the past 10+ years I have found some simple and smart strategies that work for me to get back into the right groove and to get things done.

Here are 27 of my favorite tips and habits for doing just that.

1. Just get started and let the motivation catch up with you. You don’t have to wait for motivation to get started. If you want to work in a consistent way every day then sometimes you just have to get going anyway. And the funny thing is that after I have worked for a while things feel easier and easier and more fun and the motivation catches up with me.
2. Start small if big leads you to procrastinating. If a project or task feels too big and daunting don’t let that lead you into procrastination. Instead, break it down into small steps and then take just one of them to start moving forward.
3. Start tiny if a small step still leads you to procrastination. If breaking it down and taking a small step still leads you to procrastinating then go even smaller. Take just a tiny 1-2 minute step forward. That’s it. Because the most important thing is to just get going and to build momentum forward.
4. Reduce the daily distractions. When you have easily accessible distractions all around you then it becomes hard to focus. So shut the door to your office. Put your smart phone in silent mode at the other end of your work space or home. And use an extension for your browser like StayFocusd to keep yourself on track.
5. Get accountability from the people in your life. Tell your friends what you will do on social media, via phone or in real life. Ask one or more of them to regularly check up on you and your progress. By doing this you’ll be a lot less likely to try to weasel out of things or give up at the first obstacle.
6. Get motivation from the people in your life. Spend less time with negative people who always look at the dark or apathetic side of things. And spend more of the time you have now freed up with enthusiastic or motivated people and let their energy flow over to you.
7. Get the motivation from people you don’t know. Don’t limit yourself to just the motivation you can get from the people closest you. There is a ton of motivating books, podcasts, blogs and success stories out there that you can tap into to up or renew your motivation.
8. Play music that gives you energy. One of the simplest things I do when I feel low in energy or motivation is to play music that is upbeat and/or inspires me in some way. A break with a few songs or working while listening to them for a while usually works well.
9. Find the optimism. Pessimism can drain both your motivation and energy. But the positive and constructive way of looking at things can on the other hand energize and recharge your motivation. So when you’re in what looks like a negative situation ask yourself questions like: What’s one thing that’s good about this? And what’s one hidden opportunity here?
10. Be kind to yourself when you stumble. It’s so easy to fall into the trap of beating yourself when you stumble or fail. But that don’t work that well in my experience. You just feel worse and less motivated. So try this the next time: be kind to yourself, nudge yourself back on the path you were on and take one small step forward.
11. Be constructive about the failures. To make your setbacks more valuable and less hurtful be constructive about them. When you stumble ask yourself: what is one thing I can learn from this setback? Then keep that lesson in mind and take action on it to improve what you do.
12. Compare yourself to yourself and see how far you have come. Instead of deflating yourself and your motivation by comparing yourself to others who are so far ahead of you.
13. Compete in a friendly way. When you’re in school or at work make it a friendly competition with a friend to for example finish a boring or routine task first. Just that element of competition tends to liven things up. And if you want to you can also add a small prize for extra motivation, like the winner getting a free ice cream or a beer from the other person.
14. Remind yourself of why you are working toward this. When you’re feeling unmotivated and low in energy it’s easy to lose sight of why you’re doing something. So take 2 minutes and write down your top 3 reasons for doing this work, getting an education, working out, saving that extra money or something else. Put that note where you can see it every day or keep it in your smartphone for easy access when you need a motivational boost.
15. Remind yourself of what you’re moving away from. You can also motivate yourself to get going again by looking at the negative impact of staying on your current path. Ask yourself: What will the consequences be if I continue on this path for 1 more year? And if I do if for 5 more years? I have found that this exercise has given me the kick-start I needed many times in the past years.
16. Be grateful for what you got. When motivation is running low then it’s easy to start seeing your life and the aspects of it through a negative lens. To put your focus on what you still have and who you are – and to recharge with positivity and motivation ­– ask yourself a question like: What are 3 things I sometimes take for granted but can be grateful for in my life? My answers would, for example, be a roof over my head, clean water and not having to go hungry.
17. Mix things up. A rut will kill motivation. So mix things up. Make a competition out of a task with yourself or with someone else. When you work out vary what you do instead of going through the motions. Listen to music and podcasts that you usually don’t listen to. New input and variation tends to be a good way to keep the motivation up (or to recharge it).
18. Declutter your workspace. Take a couple of minutes to clean it up. I find that having an uncluttered and minimalistic workspace helps me to think more clearly and I feel more focused and ready to tackle the next task (or small step).
19. Reduce your to-do list to just one item. An over-stuffed to-do list can be a real motivation killer. So try reducing your current to-do list to just one item. The one that’s most important to you right now or perhaps the one you’ve been procrastinating on for way too long. Then get started by taking a big, small or tiny step. And have another list tucked away somewhere where you can’t see it with other tasks to do later on.
20. Don’t forget about the breaks. Few things can in my experience drain the daily motivation like just working non-stop. Instead, work for 45 minutes each hour and use the rest for a break where you eat a snack, get out for some fresh air or do a bit of stretching. You’ll – perhaps somewhat counter-intuitively – get more done in a day and week and do work of higher quality because your energy, focus and motivation will simply last longer.
21. Adjust your goal size. If a big goal in your life feels overwhelming set a smaller goal to find your motivation again. And if a smaller goal doesn’t seem inspiring try to aim higher and make it bigger goal and see how that affects your motivation.
22. Exercise. Working out doesn’t just affect your body. I find that just 20-30 minutes of lifting free weights releases inner tensions and stress and makes me feel more focused once again.
23. Take 2 minutes to look back at your successes. Close your eyes and let the memories of your biggest successes – no matter in what part of your life – wash over you. Let those most positive memories boost your motivation.
24. Reward yourself and celebrate your successes (no matter how big or small they are). If you’re looking forward to a nice reward that you’re getting yourself after you’re done with a task or a project then your motivation tends to go up. If you celebrate a success in some other way by for example by taking 1 minute to appreciate what you did or by telling someone about your success then that also usually recharges motivation and positivity. So dangle those carrots and celebrate to keep your motivation up.
25. Do a bit of research before you get started. Learning from people who have gone where you want to go and done what you want to do can help you to avoid pitfalls. And to give you a realistic time-table for success. This is important to not get demotivated when things aren’t happening as fast you had wished.
26. Take a 2 minute meditation break. When my mind is a bit tired or perhaps even overloaded my energy and motivation goes down. So in the afternoons – or when needed – I tend to sit down with closed eyes and just focus on my breathing for 2 minutes. This clears my mind and releases inner tensions.
27. Go out in nature. Few things give me as much new energy and motivation to take on life as this does. So I often go out for a walk in the woods or by the sea and I’m just there in the moment with the nature, the fresh air and I don’t think about anything special.

Become happier and more successful by befriending fear!

via Inc.com by Peter Economy 

“Fear defeats more people than any other one thing in the world.”

― Ralph Waldo Emerson

Poet and philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson stands to be one of the most influential writers and thinkers of the nineteenth century. Chances are, you encountered his work in your high school classroom and perhaps even in a college lecture or two. If you remember nothing else about Emerson, the one thing you should keep in mind is his stance on fear–it gets in the way.

As Emerson suggests, many people succumb to fear before they even get a chance to really start going after what they want. Before they could ever actualize their dreams, fear stopped them from getting into the game in the first place.

So what is there to do? Keep fighting fear? Hope it goes away? Here’s an alternative–embrace it. Here are 3 easy ways to do just that.

1. Recognize it

If you want to utilize fear in a positive manner, you must first recognize when you’re feeling it, without being ashamed. When we consistently ignore our feelings or pretend that they do not exist, there is not much that you can do to tackle any problem that you refuse to believe is there. Instead, know that being afraid is completely normal for everyone…

…keep reading the full & original article HERE

I’m sure you’ve thought about living your best life. Here’s how you actually do it!

via Entrepreneur by Jon Levy

What does the life of your dreams look like? Are you exploring the world and working from your laptop? Are you hanging out with celebrities at award shows? Are you at home spending time with your kids every day?

It’s possible to engineer the lifestyle you want. You might not get every aspect of it, but don’t confuse having everything in life with having the lifestyle of your dreams. You don’t have to earn billions of dollars to have it. You don’t need to come from the right pedigree. (I know I didn’t.)

Related: Why It’s Vital That You Plan Your Life

However, for this life-engineering to work for you — you will need to put effort into the process. Understand this: It will likely take several years to accomplish the planning stage of these goals. What else will it take to engineer the lifestyle of your dreams? Here are some tips to get you started.

1. Clarity.

What is it that you actually want? You don’t need to construct a vision board, just be honest with yourself. How much money will it take until you feel accomplished? What experiences do you want to have? Write it down if it helps you put it into focus.

Dr. Gail Matthews, a psychology professor at Dominican University of California, conducted a study, and found that people who wrote down their goals on a regular basis were 42 percent more likely to achieve them.

Related: Setting Clear Goals

When envisioning what you want, don’t confuse lifestyle with assets. You can drive a Maserati every day without ever owning one-if that’s what you want. In other words, you can experience the lifestyle without the large price tag…

…keep reading HERE for more tips on happiness and living your best possible life!

Don’t try to feel less stressed! Practice mindful acceptance instead…

As Chief Happiness Officer of The Happiness Institute most people expect me to promote happiness at all costs; and to advocate elimination or avoidance of unhappiness, distress and stress.

But I don’t!

I do believe in trying to maximise happiness.

But I also believe that unhappiness, in all its various forms, is normal and appropriate at times.

In addition, it’s important to note that trying to push away or avoid negative emotions such as stress can backfire, causing more of what we don’t really enjoy.

And this article, sums up very nicely how and why the practice of mindful acceptance is a better approach…

via Psychology Today by Melanie Greenberg

An important component of mindfulness is acceptance of inner experience; in other words, the ability to accept negative emotions and thoughts without judging them.  When you get stressed by difficult life events or daily pressures, you may feel anxiety and depressed mood, or have self-critical or worried thoughts. You also may have secondary reactions that exacerbate the stressful feelings. You may automatically believe the negative predictions or views of self without questioning their accuracy, or you may develop aversion to the negative feelings, wanting desperately to be rid of them. You may judge yourself for having the negative mood or insecure thought – seeing it as a sign of character weakness. All of these secondary reactions make you feel worse. On the other hand, if you can mindfully accept whatever thoughts and feelings arise, seeing them as temporary states, you can avoid exacerbating and prolonging their impact.

In a study published last month, researchers at the University of Toronto and the University of California, Berkeley studied whether acceptance of inner experience has mental health benefits, independent of other aspects of mindfulness (observing and describing inner experience, non-reactivity, and acting with awareness). The researchers thought that practicing acceptance helped people feel less upset by their daily stressors. Daily stressors are very common and how we respond to them has been shown to affect our long-term happiness and mental health…

…keep reading the full & original article HERE

Prime yourself for a great day; every day!

In case you missed it, here’s my Monday Morning eNewsletter…

by Dr Tim Sharp (aka Dr Happy) 

What if you could have a great day; every day?

Well, literally EVERY day might be a bit unrealistic but we can take steps to maximise our chances of enjoying great days more often!

How?

A lot of it comes down to how you start your day. Numerous psychological studies have shown that we can “prime” ourselves, or set ourselves up for happiness and success by kick starting our day with certain positive habits.

What sorts of positive habits?

As I’ve noted before, different things will work for different people so all you need to do is work out which 3, 4 or 5 behaviours will get you inspired and motivated; then build them in to a regular morning routine!

Easy, right. It can be if you determine what you need to do then make these things non-negotiable.

For me, I try to start each day by doing the following:

• imagining how I’m going to achieve my goals,
• by practising gratitude
• and by asking…how can I love more?

What can and will you do to prime yourself for a positive day – every day?

…So that’s today’s mailing. Take some time to reflect upon the message and how it might apply to you. Check out, also, the links below for some additional readings and resources.

I hope it helps you enjoy some more happiness. Until next time…

Keep well & keep smiling
Tim Sharp (aka Dr Happy)

and PS: you can sign up to receive these FREE weekly mailings, direct to your Inbox…HERE

5 basic building blocks of success and happiness

Those of us wanting to create more happiness can learn a lot from those who’ve created more success.

Success and happiness, depending on how you define them, share a lot in common.

So to build a better and happier life, check out these 5 great tips…

via Inc.com by Betty Liu

A lot of people ask me how to achieve success. Not because I’m so successful but because I talk to a lot of people who are extremely successful.

While it’s true there are a thousand different ways to achieve success, there are really 5 basic things you need to produce winning results.

1. You need to be healthy. I don’t mean you need to run marathons or look like you can do Iron Man. But you do need to take care of yourself first. I’ve learned first-hand what not taking care of yourself means when you’re running at 100 miles per hour. That kind of behavior almost always backfires and sets you back. Plus, if you can’t take care of yourself, how exactly can you be trusted to do anything else? Always think to yourself: health first and then everything will follow.

2. You need to be comfortable in fear. Lots of successful people have fear. They just know how to not let it stop them from obtaining their goals. Fear is very uncomfortable. It can drive you to do stupid things; and it can also stop you from doing anything. Knowing you will be confronting fears on your way to glory helps you manage those emotions…

…keep reading the full & original article HERE