5 basic building blocks of success and happiness

Those of us wanting to create more happiness can learn a lot from those who’ve created more success.

Success and happiness, depending on how you define them, share a lot in common.

So to build a better and happier life, check out these 5 great tips…

via Inc.com by Betty Liu

A lot of people ask me how to achieve success. Not because I’m so successful but because I talk to a lot of people who are extremely successful.

While it’s true there are a thousand different ways to achieve success, there are really 5 basic things you need to produce winning results.

1. You need to be healthy. I don’t mean you need to run marathons or look like you can do Iron Man. But you do need to take care of yourself first. I’ve learned first-hand what not taking care of yourself means when you’re running at 100 miles per hour. That kind of behavior almost always backfires and sets you back. Plus, if you can’t take care of yourself, how exactly can you be trusted to do anything else? Always think to yourself: health first and then everything will follow.

2. You need to be comfortable in fear. Lots of successful people have fear. They just know how to not let it stop them from obtaining their goals. Fear is very uncomfortable. It can drive you to do stupid things; and it can also stop you from doing anything. Knowing you will be confronting fears on your way to glory helps you manage those emotions…

…keep reading the full & original article HERE

How to train your brain to think differently

There’s no doubt that happy people think differently.

Happiness isn’t just about “positive thinking”; but it is more likely to come to those whose thoughts are realistic and helpful and constructive.

Accordingly, those who want to enjoy more happiness could benefit from thinking more like happy people think. And here’s how you can do this based on science…

via Inc.com by Amy Morin

The conversations you have with yourself have a direct impact on how you feel and how you behave. If your self-talk is filled with self-doubt, harsh criticism, and catastrophic predictions, you’ll struggle to reach your goals.

But you don’t have to let a pessimistic outlook or foreboding inner monologue hold you back. You can train your brain to think differently.

In fact, training your brain to think differently physically changes your brain. That’s why so many therapists use cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) to help people create long-lasting change.

What the Research Shows

CBT is a well-studied mental health treatment. Therapists who employ this method help people change the unhelpful thinking and behavior patterns that are keeping them stuck.

CBT isn’t just a quick, feel-good treatment that temporarily masks underlying issues. Studies consistently show CBT creates measurable physical changes in the brain.

Neuroimaging shows CBT modifies neural circuits involved in the regulation of negative emotions. Studies consistently show CBT can change dysfunctions of the nervous system.

A study published in Translational Psychiatry used MRIs to examine brain changes in people with schizophrenia. After six months of treatment, there was more neural connectivity between the amygdala (which manages emotion in the brain) and the prefrontal cortex (which governs high order thinking). The changes were long-lasting.

Another study found that after just nine weeks of online CBT treatment, people with social anxiety disorder experienced decreased brain volume and activity in their amygdalae, which helped them keep their anxiety at bay.

Researchers have also found CBT rewires the brain in people with depression and post-traumatic stress disorder as well.

So what types of CBT skills do therapists teach? Here are three ways to train your brain to think differently…

…keep reading the full & original article HERE

How to create real happiness instead of just enjoying pleasure

Happiness can be, and has been, defined in so many ways.

For some, happiness is enjoying the moment. For others, happiness is having fun, seeking pleasure, avoiding pain, helping others and so many more varieties.

But real happiness; well that’s deeper and longer lasting. And here’s how you can create real happiness rather than just short term or superficial pleasure…

via Well and Good by Erin O’Connor

Depression is on the rise in the United States, particularly among teen girls. According to Robert Lustig, MD, MSL, and author of a new book called The Hacking Of The American Mind, a main culprit is society’s addiction to the rush that dopamine, a neurotransmitter which helps to control the brain’s reward and pleasure centers, can bring when triggered by things like social media, sugar and alcohol. With each sip, snack, or double tap, you get a quick mood boost.

But while these dopamine hits feel good in the moment, they’re also suppressing the serotonin in our brains, the chemical responsible for feelings of calm and satisfaction. Put another way, indulging in these pleasurable activities is actually making us unhappier in the long run.

If you’re confused about the difference between pleasure and happiness, you’re not alone. Dr. Lustig says the two ideas have been conflated just about everywhere, to some extent by design. Corporate America, he argues, has been selling us pleasure disguised as happiness for some time now—think Happy Meals, happy hour, and the smiling emojis we use to tell our friends we like what they do.

Corporate America has been selling us pleasure disguised as happiness for some time now—think Happy Meals, happy hour, and the smiling emojis we use to tell our friends we like what they do.

Dr. Lustig offers a rubric for determining whether that rosy feeling you have is happiness or pleasure: “Pleasure is short lived, happiness is long lived; pleasure is visceral, happiness is ethereal; pleasure is taking, happiness is giving; pleasure can be achieved with substances, happiness cannot be achieved with substances; and, finally, pleasure is experienced alone, happiness is usually experienced in social groups.”

So, how do you stop trying to find happiness in the very things that are sabotaging your odds of achieving it? Eradicating every dopamine-inducing behavior Dr. Lustig outlines is not only impossible, but unnecessary—dopamine and serotonin don’t have to be mutually exclusive. So instead, Dr. Lustig suggests that those in search of lasting, solid happiness focus on what he calls the four Cs.

Read on to learn about the 4 Cs for creating lasting happiness in your life…HERE

To enjoy more happiness, hang out with more happy people!

via Health.com by Amanda Macmillan

You can actually catch a good mood or a bad mood from your friends, according to a new study in the journal Royal Society Open Science. But that shouldn’t stop you from hanging out with pals who are down in the dumps, say the study authors: Thankfully, the effect isn’t large enough to push you into depression.

The new study adds to a growing body of research suggesting that happiness and sadness—as well as lifestyle and behavioral factors like smoking, drinking, obesity, fitness habits, and even the ability to concentrate—can spread across social networks, both online and in real life. But while many previous studies have only looked at friendship data at one point in time, this is one of the few that measured social and mood changes over time.

This method was able to show how friends actually influenced each other, and helped rule out the possibility that similarities between friends exist simply because people tend to gravitate toward and hang out with others like themselves.

The new research involved groups of junior-high and high-school students who took part in depression screenings and answered questions about their best friends, many of whom were also enrolled in the study. In total, 2,194 students were included in the analysis, which used a mathematical model to look for connections among friend networks.

Overall, kids whose friends suffered from bad moods were more likely to report bad moods themselves—and they were less likely to have improved when they were screened again six months to a year later. When people had more happy friends, on the other hand, their moods were more likely to improve over time…

…keep reading the full & original article HERE

To stay happy you’ll need to combat negativity; and here are 7 ways to do so!

No one’s happy all the time. In fact, it’s not realistic or possible to expect to enjoy happiness all the time.

Whom ever you are, your happiness will undoubtedly take a fall every now and then and when it does these 7 tips for combating negativity and staying motivated will definitely help…

via Inc.com by John Rampton

There will be times in your life where negativity seems to be all around you. When that happens, that negativity can suffocate your dreams, destroy your hope, and halt your motivation. If that negativity becomes more frequent, you may eventually throw in the towel and accept that negativity is just a part of your life.

But, don’t despair. There’s a silver lining. These are a few things that I have personally used in my life to combat negativity and remain motivated.

1. Set reasonable goals.

There are times when we only see the negative side of things. As a result, we push aside those larger and more challenging goals that can’t be attained easily. This could be anything from “I’m starting my own business,” to “I’m gonna lose 50 pounds this year.”

Instead, start with a more reasonable goal, like purchasing a web domain for your business or losing five pounds in a month. The satisfaction of reaching these smaller goals will keep you motivated so that you’ll reach the next one.

2. Control what you can.

While there will be certain things that are within your control, there also will be plenty of things that won’t be something you can control. Learn how to recognize the difference and stop worrying about circumstances that are out of your hands.

By not allowing yourself to become so emotionally entangled in what you can’t control you’ll maintain momentum — instead of becoming paralyzed. Always remember, only you can control your own actions and reactions…

…keep reading the full & original article HERE

Just 24 Hours to Go Until Stop Worrying Today Closes

Just a quick heads up today.

There’s only 24 hours left until registration for The Stop Worrying Today Course closes.

Until 1.00 p.m EDT (that’s 17.00 GMT) on Wednesday the 27th of
September you can still join it.

And this is the last time you’ll be able to enroll in the course this year.

So if you are interested in that – and in getting the free bonus course on optimism worth $29 if you join the Standard Edition of the course and 6 additional bonuses plus my Smart Social Skills Course (value $37) if you enroll in the Advanced Edition – then now is the time to take action.

Click here to learn more about Stop Worrying Today and to join it before the doors close

How to Take Action Every Day: 5 Powerful Habits

“It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.”
Leonardo Da Vinci

One of the biggest and most common problems with improving your life or the success you want out of is that you may not take consistent action over a longer time period.

Now, consistency isn’t the sexiest or most exciting word. But it is, coupled with time, what will give you real results in your life.

Sticking with the program and doing something consistently – and not just when you feel inspired or something like that – is very, very powerful.

This is something I have struggled with a lot in the past. And on some days I still do. But over the years I have found a few things that really help me with this.

1. When you’re taking action, focus only on the process.

I use this one, for example, when I do my workouts and when I write. I don’t take responsibility for the results in my mind.

I take responsibility for showing up and doing my workout/the writing. That’s it.

The results come anyway from that consistent action. And this makes it easier for me to take this action because:

• I know that is all I need to focus on. And so my energy and attention is only focused in one direction and I do a better job.
• I feel a lot less pressure on myself. And so I’m a lot more relaxed and prone to continue compared to if I stare myself blind on the potential results that never come as quickly as I may want and if I am on an emotional roller coaster from day to day.

2. Remember why you are taking action.

Find your top priorities and reasons for why you are doing what you are doing.

It could be to provide for your family, to save up for traveling, to get the job you really want or to improve your self-confidence. Or something else.

To not lose track of why you are taking action and to stay focused:

• Write down your most important reasons. Take a few minutes, sit down with paper and a pen and write down the top 1-3 reasons for why you take action and want to keep doing that in your life right now.
• Put that note where you can see it every day. Like for example in your workspace or near your bed so that you see it when you wake up every morning.

3. Reminder: you don’t want to hurt yourself.

When you disappoint yourself and don’t think and do as you really deep down want to you hurt yourself by lowering your self-esteem.

Whatever you do during your day sends signals back to yourself about what kind of person you are. Do the right thing like being effective, kind, going to the gym or simply rest and you feel good.

Get lazy, negative or just plain mean and you tend to feel worse after a while. You don’t get away, there is no escaping yourself. And there is always a price to pay.

4. Take smaller steps on the days when the big ones seem to daunting.

On some days getting started with any of the the most important tasks may seem daunting. And so you start to procrastinate. When that happens, one thing that has worked for me is to be kind. To nudge myself forward instead of beating myself up.

So at such times I take:

• A small step. I may make a deal with myself to just work for 5 minutes on a piece of a bigger and more difficult task.
• An even smaller step. If that small step feels like too and I start to procrastinate I make a deal with myself for 1 or 2 minutes of work.

Sometimes that results in a few dents put into a big task, a couple of smaller tasks being completed and many breaks being taken throughout the day.

And sometimes the easy start or restart to the day is all I need to get going again and to have a good and very productive time before the evening arrives.

Either way, I move forward instead of standing still.

5. Celebrate what you did today.

When you appreciate your good work you feel even better about your life and yourself. And over time taking more action with less inner resistance becomes possible and you associate action with more positive emotions than you may at this time.

So….

• Take two minutes at the end of the day to think about what you can appreciate about what you did today. Or write down a couple of self-appreciative things in your journal.
• Have a tasty treat or a bigger celebration.
• Tell someone how nice something turned out, how you learned a good lesson or how proud you are over something important you did today.

Reward yourself for the things you did right today to strengthen your action taking habit.

And remember to be kind to yourself for the things you may have missed or not gotten done. No point in trying to beat yourself up. No point in trying to be perfect.

See what you can learn from it and perhaps try another solution tomorrow and see if that works better.

When You Find Yourself Sacrificing Your Own Happiness For Others

We all make sacrifices. Some of them are easy and others are hard, but when you're making them for the right reason, it doesn't matter.

But we can find ourselves sacrificing too much or making unnecessary sacrifices that end up hurting us instead of making things better in the long run.

Ask yourself: Are you giving up too much for someone who doesn't deserve it? In turn, are you hurting yourself?

We do whatever we can to make our partner happy.

But we should never give up our own happiness for them.

You can make sacrifices in your relationship but there is no balance if your partner doesn't make them for you.

You may feel guilty about caring about yourself, but the wrong answer is to put your partner so far in front of you that you stop mattering.

Don't give up so much of yourself, hoping to be loved.

There's no point in giving everything you have to someone who won't give anything back in return.

Source: When You Find Yourself Sacrificing Your Own Happiness For Others