First off, thank you for all your kind birthday emails and messages!
Now, there are only 24 hours to go until my birthday offer expires.
Until 1.00 p.m EDT (that’s 17.00 GMT) Thursday the 29th of March you can get 5 of my courses and guides at a 30% discount.
And this is the only discount I’ll be offering on my products in 2018.
So if you are interested in that then now is the time to take action.
Click here to learn more about the offer and my courses
Today is my 38th birthday.
And I want to do something fun to celebrate that and to thank you for all your support and the thousands of kind emails and comments over this past year.
So you can get 5 of my digital and downloadable courses and guides at a 30 percent discount for the next 48 hours.
This offer is only available until 1.00 p.m EDT (that’s 17.00 GMT) Thursday the 29th of March.
I’m off to celebrate a bit now, have a wonderful day and check out the information below to learn more about the courses and guides.
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You can get any of these downloadable courses and guides with one of the major credit cards or money in your Paypal or Amazon account.
The Self-Esteem Course
This 12-week course is my most popular program so far.
In it you’ll learn how to:
And a whole lot more. The course includes one written guide, one audio version of that guide and one worksheet for each of the 12 weeks plus 9 additional bonuses.
Click here to learn more and to join the Self-Esteem Course
The Smart Social Skills Course
The Smart Social Skills Course is all about improving your social skills and relationships.
In this course you will learn how to:
And much, much more.
Click here to learn more about The Smart Social Skills Course and to join it
The Invincible Summer Course
The Invincible Summer is an 8-week course in developing a resilient outlook of optimism.
In it you will learn how to:
And a lot more that will fuel your mind and life with positivity. The course includes one written guide, one audio version of that guide and one worksheet for each of the 8 weeks.
Click here to learn more and to join The Invincible Summer Course
31 Days to a Simpler Life
This course is designed to make you think about how you live your life.
But more importantly, it’s designed to make you DO things. To do one task each day for 31 days to simplify your life step by step.
31 Days to a Simpler Life will for example help you to keep your focus on what is truly most meaningful and important in your life. It will help you to declutter your home, workspace and other cluttered areas in your life. And to uncomplicate your social life and schedule.
Click here to learn more about 31 Days to a Simpler Life and to join it
The Art of Relaxed Productivity
The Art of Relaxed Productivity is all about becoming a more focused person and getting more of the most important things done with less stress.
In it you’ll learn how to:
Click here to learn more about the Art of Relaxed Productivity and to get your copy
Happiness is many things to many people.
But in one way or other, happiness (for all of us) includes the extent to which we’re satisfied with the people in our lives.
So if you want to be happier; here’s how you can improve the quality of your relationships…
via Inc.com by Melanie Curtin
There are a lot of reasons to get married. One is being in love. Another is wanting the tax break. Yet another is the desire to publicly commit to your best friend that you will be with him or her forever, no matter what. Until death parts you.
Now, science has proven a somewhat shocking concept: that when it comes to having a fulfilling life, it’s that last part that matters the most. No, not the death part–the best friend status.
The study in question, out of the National Bureau of Economic Research, is creatively titled, “How’s Life at Home? New Evidence on Marriage and the Set Point for Happiness.” One of its main findings is that individuals who consider their spouse to be their best friend are more satisfied with their lives overall.
Twice as satisfied, as it turns out.
“[T]hose who are best friends with their partners have the largest well-being benefits from marriage and cohabitation, even when controlling for pre-marital well-being levels,” the researchers state. “The wellbeing benefits of marriage are on average about twice as large for those (about half of the sample) whose spouse is also their best friend.”
I don’t believe there’s ONE secret to happiness but I do believe there’s ONE thing you can do to enjoy more happiness, more easily…
…and that is something I learned form an 80 year old marathon runner!
I interviewed Frank Dearn for a book I was writing on positive ageing (“Live Happier; Live Longer”). Among the many aspects of his life that I found inspirational the one that really stood out was that he was, at the age of 82, still running full marathons. That’s 42 kilometres for those of you who aren’t familiar!
Anyway, at the time I interviewed Frank it was the middle of winter and it happened to be a cold, dark morning. Yet he’d already been for his daily run. I remember asking him how he managed to get out of bed every day; how he kept running. And his response was both simple and profound…
…”It’s just what I do!” replied Frank.
And that was it. But I took so much from that simple statement.
In short, if you believe something’s important for you to live a happy, healthy and/or successful life then make it non-negotiable. It doesn’t, then, require a decision. It is, rather, just something you do.
I apply this principle to several activities I consider to be pillars of my health and wellbeing (e.g., exercise, meditation, making time for family and friends).
How about you? What do you know enhances your happiness and health? And how can you make it/them integral, non-negotiable parts of your daily life?
…So that’s today’s mailing. Take some time to reflect upon the message and how it might apply to you. Check out, also, the links below for some additional readings and resources.
I hope it helps you enjoy some more happiness. Until next time…
Keep well & keep smiling
Tim Sharp (aka Dr Happy)
via Psychology Today by Grant Hilary Brenner
For me, every hour is grace. And I feel gratitude in my heart each time I can meet someone and look at his or her smile.
—Elie Wiesel
Gratitude, day-to-day variations and consistency over time.
Previous research on the positive effects of gratitude has shown that gratitude appears to reduce stress and foster well-being (e.g. Wood et al., 2010). A recent prospective study in which people were instructed to list things they were grateful for on a daily basis supports this notion (Krejtz et al., 2016). However, little if any, research has looked at whether spontaneous (non-directed) changes in gratitude track with well-being and stress response. Rather than being a stable personality characteristic (a “trait”), gratitude may be more of a “state,” varying over the course of time—or perhaps a combination of both. Do daily fluctuations in gratitude correlate with well-being and indicators of happiness, stress, and depression? Furthermore, does gratitude serve as a buffer for stress and negativity, helping to offset toxic effects on more challenging days?
In order to look more closely at how natural day-to-day levels of gratitude may interact with various indicators of well-being and stress, researchers Nezlek, Krejtz, Rusanowska and Holas (2018) followed 131 participants for two weeks, using daily self-assessments to investigate correlations among gratitude and factors related to well-being and stress. Daily measures included gratitude, positive and negative emotional states, self-esteem, depressogenic adjustment (optimism about oneself and life), worry, and rating of important events of the day on how stressful and how positive they were. Participants reported on 10 possible categories for events: family, interpersonal, partner, work, finances, official, health, hobby, values, and other/everyday events.
As in previous studies looking at intentionally cultivated gratitude, researchers found that on every measure, gratitude was significantly correlated with well-being. On days when people felt more grateful, well-being was reported as being higher. Likewise, on higher stress days, participants reported lower well-being, and on lower stress days, participants reported greater well-being.
Using gratitude to buffer stress responses.
Importantly, they found that gratitude did in fact appear to act as a buffer for stress. On days with fewer positive events, gratitude and well-being were more strongly related, suggesting that gratitude may serve to bolster resilience, amplifying lower positive emotions on difficult days or perhaps even providing, essentially, internal positive events to compensate for a lack of external positive events. This is especially noteworthy because people often have difficulty tapping into gratitude when difficulties arise, focusing on negatives with bitterness or pessimism.
Gratitude therefore appears to provision us internally with a positive response when external events fail to do so. For people who are able to muster up gratitude when the going gets rough, not only as a generally characteristic but also as a just-in-time response to stress and negative events, gratitude can be a “bridge over troubled water” that helps to keep us from getting pulled down into a negative spiral of maladaptive coping. People who use gratitude in this way must be able to do so, rather than undermining resilient responses…
…keep reading the full & original article HERE
“Three things in human life are important: the first is to be kind; the second is to be kind; and the third is to be kind.”
Henry James
“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”
Maria Robinson
Being kind to yourself in everyday life is in in my experience one of the best things you can do for yourself.
Life will become lighter and your relationships will most likely improve.
You will feel happier overall. And your self-esteem and your sense of deserving good things in life will go up. It’s one of my absolute favorite topics and one that I have created my most popular program around in The Self-Esteem Course.
But it is also one thing that is often neglected or something some may feel guilty about doing.
To make a positive change with that simply start a new habit today. One of kindness and love towards yourself. You can find 10 of my favorites among such habits in this article.
1. Invest in yourself.
Spend 15-30 minutes in the morning or evening with reading, listening to or watching material that uplifts you, that helps you to understand yourself and the world or that helps you to live a better life.
Then, if possible, take one small action on what you have learned.
2. Find the truth and exception when an inner critic or outer critic attacks.
Your own inner critic may not always say nice things about you. People around you may attack you or try to bring you down to serve one of their own needs.
If you or someone else does this, ask yourself this question:
What is the exception to this though?
This is very effective to change your train of thoughts, to find the truth and to not get down on yourself.
For example, if you or someone says that you are not doing a good job in school then you can ask the question and find answers that tell you that isn’t really true. If you question the attack and look for the exception you may for instance see that you are actually doing a good job in most of your courses, but may be a bit unfocused and lazy in math and geography.
That is a more nuanced truth that helps you rather than just brings you down.
3. Unstress tonight.
Take a long bath and read something to escape. Or work out. Or talk to someone about something that is on your mind and let it all out.
Set aside 30 minutes or more and be kind to your body and mind by letting the tensions and stress out.
4. Take just 2 minutes in the morning or evening to appreciate yourself.
Create a kinder and more balanced self-image by making it a quick and daily habit to appreciate yourself.
Here’s what you do:
Sit down with a journal on your smart phone, computer or in paper form. Ask yourself:
What are 3 things I can appreciate about myself?
It could be that you are a good listener or are doing well with your hobby right now. Or that you have a love for animals, people or music.
It doesn’t have to be big things either. Maybe just that you flossed or brushed your teeth this morning. The important thing is to appreciate yourself both for the little things and the things you may take for granted and not just for reaching a big milestone once in while.
5. Mediocre day? Take one small step forward towards something positive.
If your day feels mediocre or just sort of depressing then take one small step towards something positive to breathe new hope and optimism into your day and week.
6. Be kinder towards others.
The way you think about and treat others is often the way you think about and treat yourself. So choose to be kinder towards others to, over time, become kinder and more understanding towards yourself too.
For example:
7. If you stumble, be your own best friend.
Don’t beat yourself up, that will erode your self-esteem. Be a kind and supportive friend to yourself instead.
Ask yourself: How would my friend/parent support me and help me in this situation?
And then do things and talk to yourself like he or she would.
And remember to ask yourself what you can learn from your stumble and if there is an opportunity in this situation. Then take that new knowledge you gain and move forward once again.
8. Take a laugh-break.
Take 5-10 minutes in the middle of your day or if that is not possible then use your morning or evening. Use your smart phone, computer or TV and watch a funny clip or a half an episode of a sitcom, read a funny book or comic or listen to a podcast you know makes you laugh.
I have been using this one for over a decade, even before I got seriously interested in personal development. I find it to be one of the most effective things I can do to recharge my energy and optimism and to release inner tensions.
9. Remember, the future is still in your hands. And it is never too late to change.
Don’t get stuck in thought loops that just go round and round about what you could have done or what went wrong.
Think about what you really want in the rest of your life instead.
Now, what are a few small steps you can take towards that goal?
Take one of those steps today. Then another tomorrow.
10. Simply remind yourself of why it is smart to be kind to yourself.
By knowing the reasons why it is smart to be kinder to yourself it, in my experience, becomes easier and easier to be kind to yourself and to take the time for it every day.
By reminding yourself of benefits such as better real life results, more perseverance, higher self-esteem, more inner happiness and stillness, more positive relationships with yourself and with other people it becomes easier to stay kind to yourself through life’s natural ups and downs.
Happiness is hard some times.
But that doesn’t mean it’s complicated.
Sometimes, the best way to enjoy more happiness, is to make things simple.
And these 20 happiness tips are super easy…
via MNN.com by Mary Jo Dilonardo
It’s not easy to be happy all the time. Sometimes life gets in the way.
The good news is there are plenty of things you can do to boost your mood and put a smile on your face. In honor of International Day of Happiness — or any day when you just need a boost — try one of these ways to put your mind in a more pleasant place. They’ll help you out when you’re feeling less than chipper.
1. Go outside. Take a stroll around your neighborhood or, better yet, go walk in the woods. Studies have shown that walking among trees makes us relaxed, nicer people. Even just smelling the trees eases anxiety. The more green space in a neighborhood, the happier people say they are.
2. Exercise. Most of us spend way too much time sitting around. That’s bad for our bodies, but also not so great for our mental health. Exercise modulates brain chemicals known as neurotransmitters. That includes dopamine, which regulates feelings of pleasure, as well as norepinephrine, which can help deal with stress. So find something you like to do and get moving.
3. Sleep more. When’s the last time you had a refreshing night of sleep? It’s common sense, but people who sleep well feel better. And when you feel good, you’re happier. A poll of more than 7,000 American adults found that those who reported getting more sleep had an overall better feeling of well-being than those who got less shut-eye. The National Sleep Foundation recommends getting a minimum of seven hours of sleep each night.
4. Smile. It might seem hard to fake a smile when you don’t mean it, but give it a try. Several studies have found that when people are in stressful situations or feel unhappy, if they force a smile, some of that tension melts away. Even a fake smile can make you feel a little happier, science says.
5. Help people. Generous people typically lead happier lives than people who do things that only benefit themselves. A 2017 study found that generosity makes people happier, even if they’re only a little bit generous. So go volunteer, donate or think about someone other than yourself. Everybody wins…
…keep reading the full & original article HERE
We know certain thinking styles and attitudes are crucial for happiness and success.
We know happy and successful people think about the word in a fundamentally different way.
But how much difference does it really make?
Well this one attitude could potentially boost your happiness and success 10 times! So if that sounds interesting, keep reading…
via Inc.com by J T O’Donnell
Imagine you’re in a classroom. The teacher announces an upcoming test will determine 100 percent of your grade and is going to be graded on a curve. That means, the worse other’s do compared to you, the better your grade will be. Would you help your classmates’ prepare? Studies show your answer is likely “no.” It’s called zero-sum thinking, i.e., when someone wins, someone else must lose. Unfortunately, many people look at life with zero-sum thinking — and it’s working against them.
The problem with zero-sum thinking is it not only makes unhappy, unsuccessful people more miserable, it also can make moderately happy, successful people stop reaching for more happiness and success. How is that possible? Think of the last time something really great happened to you. Did you feel guilty? Did you stress over what others would think about your success? Did you play down your happiness for fear of a negative reaction from others? If so, then you let zero-sum thinking take over your mind. While I’m not suggesting you brag or lack humility, I am saying your reaction indicates you somehow felt like you were taking away from the success and happiness of those around you — and that is simply untrue…
…keep reading the full & original article HERE
Regular readers of this blog would well be aware that happiness isn’t just feeling good.
Happiness is partly feeling good; but happiness is also feeling connected and accomplished as well as … having direction and purpose.
It’s on this last aspect of happiness that today’s blog focuses; so if this is something in which you’re interested then keep reading…
via Psychology Today by Andrea Bonior
Sometimes it feels that our culture has nearly reached a saturation point in its focus on the pursuit of happiness: thousands of books, blogs, and websites purport to help us get there, with techniques ranging from the empirically validated (exercise, mindfulness, gratitude) to the rather murky (which often involve paying someone something.) But more and more research is starting to delineate (link is external)between happiness in terms of pleasure, versus happiness in terms of a sense of purpose and meaning. The former often focuses on hedonic experiences: “happiness” in the two-dimensional sense, feeling joy or pleasure that can be fleeting but undeniably feels positive in the moment. Of course, sometimes we search for this pleasure in ways that ultimately make us feel worse: impulsive spending, irresponsible sexual interactions, unhealthy food choices or substance abuse. The latter research focus, however, looks more at experiences that might not be purely pleasurable but increase our sense of connectedness to deeper values. These activities and connections may not always be easy, but they feel to us like reasons for living. Such experiences often involve a greater satisfaction with one’s life on a deeper level, and may just be more valuable than superficial “happiness” when it comes to overall emotional well-being(link is external)and also physical health.(link is external)
What’s trickier, though, is actually cultivating a sense of purpose. How do you find meaning in a world that offers no shortage of stress, in a life that can all too easily be filled with the worries of getting through the responsibilities of the day? Unfortunately, it seems that many Americans are indeed struggling to connect with that deeper sense of meaning (and we’re not doing so great i(link is external)n the happiness measures either). If you want to begin to think more deeply about these issues, there are some simple questions you can start with. How might you find your sense of meaning? Read on.
1) When are you in flow? For more than four decades, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi has studied the concept he named “flow,(link is external)” which has become a pillar of positive psychology research. When you are in flow, you are so fully engaged and immersed in an activity that you feel relaxed but also challenged, interested but not stressed. I like to describe it to clients as doing something where you lose your sense of time, and you focus only on the task at hand, in a positive way: it is the opposite of clock-watching (where you want so much for a task to be over.) So, what type of activities bring you to this place? Are there parts of your job that you love, and that you feel like makes the time speed by? Are there hobbies that seem to make a Saturday afternoon disappear, in a good way? Are there people you spend time with who help you forget your worries, get rid of past baggage and future concerns, and just be? These clues can help fine-tune what resonates with you most deeply in life…
…keep reading the full & original article HERE
Want to know the ONE THING you can do to bring more joy and excitement into you life?
…
…
…
…
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…use anticipation!!!
Looking forward to things is good for you. Eagerly awaiting an upcoming positive event creates positive emotions such as happiness and joy. So why don’t we use this more to our advantage?
Well, we can. And it really is quite easy.
Every day, or at least once each week, plan at least one pleasurable activity or event. It doesn’t matter what it is; as long as YOU find it fun and enjoyable. It could be chatting to a friend, going out to dinner, watching a movie or seeing a live band.
At the same time, every month or two, also plan a bigger positive something. This could be a special dinner out at a fancy restaurant or some bigger splurge that you wouldn’t do on a daily or weekly basis.
And finally, at least once each year (or preferably, 2-3 times each year) plan a holiday or getaway. It could be an overseas trip but it could also be something easier and more affordable like a weekend camping.
Once again, it doesn’t really matter what these positive events are; but knowing that this week, this month, this quarter and/or this year you have things to look forward to does matter. And it matters in a very positive way!
…So that’s today’s mailing. Take some time to reflect upon the message and how it might apply to you. Check out, also, the links below for some additional readings and resources.
I hope it helps you enjoy some more happiness. Until next time…
Keep well & keep smiling
Tim Sharp (aka Dr Happy)
It takes a degree of confidence to achieve happiness and success.
Confidence breeds action; which then leads to accomplishment from which we can enjoy positive emotions such as satisfaction and happiness.
Yet confidence can be elusive; and confidence can be undermined…sometimes by ourselves!
Check out this Forbes article by Stella Grizont to see if you’re unconsciously undermining your own confidence…
I was recently speaking with a friend of mine who was on the verge of breakdown. Before I tell you why, I just want to give you a bit of context: This woman is amazing. Her career is on fire. She travels around the world literally helping women lead happier lives, from Paris to London to sunny Maui. She’s making more money than ever, and she’s on the verge of publishing an exciting new book. She’s married to a loving and supportive man. And, did I mention she’s gorgeous?
What else can you ask for, right?
But here we were, and she was questioning everything. She worried that she was doing it all “wrong,” that she’d never be a “success,” and that she was wasting a lot of time. Instead of standing strong as the magnificent human being I know her to be, she was shriveled up in insecurity.
What happened? Well, if you’ve ever suffered from similar worries or bouts of questioning yourself, you may be undermining your confidence in unconscious ways, similar to my friend.
So, don’t do this at home. Watch out for these three unconscious ways you’re destroying your confidence.
1. Not Getting Enough Sleep
My three-year-old, Linor, has taught me how much sleep matters. When she was smaller and missed a nap, it was hell for everyone. She was agitated at best, and I was melting down at worst.
As adults, we also need our sleep, and we forget how much it impacts our mindset and emotional state. We mask the impact of being tired by pushing through and caffeinating. When we’re under-rested and feeling off, we start to judge ourselves as not being “enough” — instead of just taking a nap.
This is what happened to my friend. She had just returned from a massive speaking event and didn’t follow up with a good night of rest. The following morning (when we spoke), she was a wreck. But the next day, she was fine.
So, check yourself: Are you pushing hard but not allowing for restoration? Take a look at the calendar and preempt the meltdown by scheduling in low-key days to follow intense bursts at work, including big launches, presentations, sprints or whatever it is that’s high pressure for you…
…keep reading the full & original article HERE
Happiness is … eagerly awaiting positive events.
Happiness can also be … positively reminiscing wonderful memories.
But just as importantly happiness is … living in the moment and being present.
We all know, however, that this is much easier said than done. So here are 5 ways to become more present each and every day…
via Pick The Brain by Gary Savoie
In a world full of distractions, it’s become increasingly important to learn how to detach ourselves from all the surrounding “buzz” and become more present. In fact, we owe it to ourselves to pause once in awhile and take in all that life has to offer.
Do you ever find yourself sitting down to write an email, and then you get a sudden urge to check your Facebook? Scrolling your newsfeed turns into browsing YouTube videos and before you know it, an hour has passed until you finally realize you still haven’t written that email.
We live in such a fast paced world and with all the noise that surrounds us, it’s become quite difficult to stay present.
Most of us are aware of the benefits of paying attention to the world around us. However, when it comes to putting it into practice we don’t know where to begin. If you’re looking for stress reduction, increased productivity, higher quality relationships, and more happiness here are five ways to live in the moment.
Stopping to breathe, even for a few moments, allows you to check in with yourself and tap into your intuition. The more you can harness your intuition the more conscious you will become allowing yourself to make clearer decisions. Your breathing is also always in the present moment…
…keep reading the full & original article HERE
“When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive – to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.”
Marcus Aurelius
The alarm bell goes off. You slowly open your eyes. A new day lies before you.
A day of unexplored potential and opportunities. How can you make it more likely to become a positive and good day?
Today I’d like to simply share 7 habits that I have used to make my mornings and whole days better.
1. Have a reminder on your bedside table.
How will you start your very first moments and minutes of the day?
One good way to get off to a good start is to have a note, a reminder on your bedside table that will be one of the first things you see after you have woken up.
A couple of suggestions for what to write down on your note:
2. Give one genuine compliment.
Giving one genuine compliment to your partner, a family member, friend or co-worker during your morning can not only lift his or her day but also make yours a little brighter and happier.
So tap into what you can appreciate about a person in your life. Then tell him or her that.
If you can, make it something that may be a bit unexpected and something that person hasn’t heard a hundred times before. For example, a compliment about her great taste in music or his wonderful way with animals may be more appreciated and powerful than a compliment about looks and other more superficial stuff.
3. Positive information intake over breakfast.
Instead of watching the news or reading the papers and getting a negative and perhaps depressing start to your day do something that will inspire you.
4. Start your workday with your most important task of the day.
If you do then the rest of the day will feel lighter and easier. You will feel better about yourself and more confident as you move on to other tasks.
If you have trouble getting started with the most important task then just make a deal with yourself to work on it for 3 minutes. Then you can stop if you like. But you may not want to once you have gotten started. That seems to be the case for me most of the time.
Getting started is most often the hardest part. So make that part easier for yourself.
5. Go slow.
When I go a bit slower it becomes easier to fully focus, to keep the stress down and I most often do a better job with something the first time around.
I work with more clarity and I do not get stuck in doing busy work very often.
It may feel like I’m not getting enough done but at the end of the day I usually get more quality work done than if I tried to maintain a high speed throughout the day. Partly because the lower stress levels keeps my mind fresh and energy up even through the last few afternoon hours of the workday.
Try going a bit slower. See how it works for you.
6. Work out.
Often mentioned and for a good reason. It has many positive benefits.
I workout several times a week and by doing so I boost my energy, inner doubts and tensions lessen, I feel more decisive and my mind becomes more optimistic. And all of that makes the rest of the day lighter.
I highly recommend doing some kind of exercise in the morning. If you can’t go to a gym or work out from home early in the day then maybe you can walk or bicycle to work or school.
7. Do the right thing in some small or big way.
This one boosts your self-esteem. It puts a spring in your step and it at least makes me feel happier.
So do what you deep down think is the right thing.
A few examples that may resonate with you:
Build upon just a small step, a small thing if you like. Start building an upward spiral of positivity and good feelings within. And then take further steps upward.
Towards what you know you really want and you know are the right things for you in your life.
Happiness is at least partly about family.
Happiness is at least partly a “team game”.
Happiness is very much about “others” so check out this great article to find out what the best teams and families do…
via Eric Barker
What makes a team effective? Is it trust? Cooperation? “Chemistry”?
You have no idea. Don’t worry — neither did I. Kinda terrifying, isn’t it? We’re all part of friendships, work teams, and families and we don’t really know what builds trust, unity, or makes a group effective.
Luckily, one very smart guy went looking for answers…
Bestselling author Dan Coyle spent the past four years studying world class teams to see what makes them great. He reviewed the research, sat down with Pixar, spent time with the Navy SEALs — heck, he even looked at the best crew of jewel thieves out there.
His excellent new book is The Culture Code: The Secrets of Highly Successful Groups.
He found there were three key elements they all had in common that boosted trust, cooperation, motivation and overall performance. And they’re going to surprise you.
Let’s get to it…
Safety is a lot like oxygen — you really don’t think about it unless it’s missing. And by the same token, almost nobody deliberately sets out to create it.
But it’s really hard to create trust or work together effectively when you feel like you’re going to be judged, scolded or fired for saying or doing the wrong thing.
So what produces a feeling of safety? Not words or policies or assurances. Alex Pentland at MIT says it’s “belonging cues.”
They’re a cluster of little behaviors you probably don’t pay all that much attention to. But they’re the little things people do when they care about and respect one another.
From The Culture Code: The Secrets of Highly Successful Groups:
Belonging cues are behaviors that create safe connection in groups. They include, among others, proximity, eye contact, energy, mimicry, turn taking, attention, body language, vocal pitch, consistency of emphasis, and whether everyone talks to everyone else in the group.
Pentland found they were the number one predictor of team performance — more predictive than intelligence, skill or leadership. In fact, you can ignore all the information exchanged by a group and know how well they’re going to do just by looking at belonging cues.
From The Culture Code: The Secrets of Highly Successful Groups:
It’s possible to predict performance by ignoring all the informational content in the exchange and focusing on a handful of belonging cues…
Why are these little innocuous behaviors so powerful? Because they’re operating deep down at the neuroscience level.
From The Culture Code: The Secrets of Highly Successful Groups:
When you receive a belonging cue, the amygdala switches roles and starts to use its immense unconscious neural horsepower to build and sustain your social bonds. It tracks members of your group, tunes in to their interactions, and sets the stage for meaningful engagement. In a heartbeat, it transforms from a growling guard dog into an energetic guide dog with a single-minded goal: to make sure you stay tightly connected with your people. On brain scans, this moment is vivid and unmistakable, as the amygdala lights up in an entirely different way. “The whole thing flips,” says Jay Van Bavel, social neuroscientist at New York University. “The moment you’re part of a group, the amygdala tunes in to who’s in that group and starts intensely tracking them. Because these people are valuable to you. They were strangers before, but they’re on your team now, and that changes the whole dynamic. It’s such a powerful switch- it’s a big top-down change, a total reconfiguration of the entire motivational and decision-making system.”
So make sure everyone is getting a chance to speak. That people are paying attention to one another and making eye contact. That body language is respectful and everyone feels heard. Don’t let anyone be dismissive or interrupt someone else.
Whether it’s a boardroom meeting or family dinner, everyone wants to feel like a valued member of a group and that their thoughts carry weight. And that’s conveyed not only by our voices, but by our bodies as well.
(To learn more about the science of a successful life, check out my bestselling book here.)
So everyone feels safe — but how do we create trust and encourage cooperation?
…keep reading the full & original article HERE
via Inc.com by Laura Garnett
How many of us sit at our desks, at a coffee shop, or in an office on autopilot, plugging away at daily tasks that feel less like the stimulating routine we envisioned and more like a daily grind?
For most of us, work equates to just that, work. It’s something we do to pay the bills, to support our families. It’s not something we necessarily need to be happy doing. But I’m here to shift your thinking. Why can’t you be deliriously happy at work? There’s no rule that says you have to settle for anything less than work that inspires you and allows you to truly shine.
Here are three things you can do right now to bring more challenge and fulfillment to your everyday work experience:1.
1. Define success for yourself
Success is a very personal thing. What motivates one person can vary drastically for another. For me, success is spending the majority of my time focused on work or tasks that are fulfilling, leveraging my Zone of Genius, maximizing my potential, and helping others in a meaningful way. Think of what your own version of success is, write it down, and make sure that your job and career is providing the kind of success that’s important to you…
…keep reading the full & original article HERE
In many ways, goal setting is easy…
…so why do so few people achieve what they set out to achieve? And why do so few people get what they want in life?
Not surprisingly, there are many possible answers for these questions. But having worked with tens of thousands of clients over many years now, there’s one that’s all too common!
Although we’re often good at determining what we WANT in life and/or what we want to work towards and/or what we want MORE of…too often we’re too busy to do what we need to do to bring this about.
If we’re already busy (as most of us are) and we set new goals then by definition, we’re adding more in to an already full schedule.
So what do we need to do?
We need to also think about what we want LESS of, what we need to STOP doing and/or what’s NOT IMPORTANT so we can then focus on what are our real PRIORITIES!
Today, therefore, I invite you to think about what you can REMOVE from your life; what’s no longer adding value and what can, then, be eliminated.
Sometimes, less really is more!
…So that’s today’s mailing. Take some time to reflect upon the message and how it might apply to you. Check out, also, the links below for some additional readings and resources.
I hope it helps you enjoy some more happiness. Until next time…
Keep well & keep smiling
Tim Sharp (aka Dr Happy)
There’s no doubt that happy people think about the word in a different way.
There’s no doubt you can increase your chances of enjoying happiness if you think more helpful, realistic and positive thoughts.
So if you want more happiness, and if you’d like to think more positively, then check out these 11 great tips…
via Psychology Today by Tchiki Davis
When you harness the power of positivity, its amazing the impact it has on your life. It makes every moment worth experiencing and every goal worth shooting for. By thinking positive, you just can’t help but be optimistic, even when everyone around you is miserable. As a result, you are happier, less depressed, and more satisfied with your life. The benefits of positive thinking are vast. So how do you train your brain to think positive?
Not sure whether you’re a negative nelly? Take this well-being quiz(link is external), which not only gives you a score on “positivity”, it can help you identify the other skills that can most help you improve your happiness and well-being. If you’re someone who needs to work on your positivity, keep reading.
Did you know that you may be able to increase your positivity just by memorizing lists of positive words? That’s right. It’s because when you force your brain to use positive words frequently, you make these words (and their basic meaning) more accessible, more connected, and more easily activated in your brain. So when go to retrieve a word or idea from your memory, positive ones can come to the top more easily.
Not sure which words are positive? Psychologists have painstakingly measured thousands of words(link is external) to determine how positive and negative they are. I’ve compiled only the most positive of the positive words into a positive word workbook for adults(link is external), and a positive word workbook for kids(link is external). If you’re struggling to think positive, try this strategy first. It can help develop your brain in ways that may make the other positive thinking strategies easier to implement.
Once your brain has built strong neural networks for positive words, try to extend these networks by asking your brain to use positive information in new ways. For example, you could memorize positive words and set an alarm that reminds you to recall these words, in reverse order, an hour later.
Or, you could print out these words on cards(link is external), cut them into 2 pieces, shuffle them all together and then find each card’s match. For example, the word “laughter” would be cut into “laug” and “hter”. To match the word pieces, your brain has to search through lots of positive information to find what it’s looking for. This positive memory recall task may make it easier when you try to think positive…
…keep reading the full & original article HERE
It’s hard to feel good about yourself if you don’t feel good about your body!
And for too many of us, poor body image takes away from our happiness.
But what if we could enjoy more happiness and feel better? What if we could actually learn how to appreciate our bodies for what they are?
via The Greatist by Nia Shanks
I am no stranger to negative body image, which (as many of us know) has the capacity to spiral out of control. I’ve uttered all of the above phrases, and many more, to myself in the past. Heck, it wasn’t uncommon to think all of those things in a single day.
Once upon a time, when I first began my career as a personal trainer, I loved my body and didn’t obsess over tiny details like my calves or stomach, and I sure didn’t care about some number on the scale. But over time, as I engaged in this negative self-talk, my body image steadily took a nosedive.
It began innocently enough, with simply wanting to improve a body part here or there. I wanted to make my shoulders “pop” a little more, for example, so I included some extra shoulder work in my workouts. But then it progressed and I began to compare myself to other women—my height, weight, figure, and leanness. The negative self-talk increased in both frequency and criticality.
I just wasn’t good enough. Or so I thought.
My self-confidence quickly plummeted. I was constantly striving to repair my flaws, and I even developed disordered eating habits. All of those things only added fuel to the fire of negative self-talk that raged on a daily basis…
…keep reading the full & original article HERE
Happiness is more money.
Happiness is more stuff.
Happiness is more of everything.
Right?
Maybe not!
There’s no doubt that more can be better in certain situations; but there’s also no doubt that less is more, and that more is worse in other contexts.
The minimalist movement is, I believe, very relevant to the happiness movement so if enjoying less sounds of interest to you then keep reading…
via Broadsheet by Miriam Kauppi
Joshua Fields Millburn is describing what he calls the 10/10 exercise. “You take a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle. Then write down the 10 most expensive things you’ve purchased in the last decade. On the other side write down the 10 most meaningful experiences you’ve had. You’ll realise that those two sides share very little, if anything, in common.”
Fields Millburn is one of The Minimalists. For nearly 10 years he and friend Ryan Nicodemus have, as they describe it, lived “meaningful lives with less”. They write books, are the subject of a documentary (2016’s Minimalism), have a podcast, and tour the world with their message. Which is: “Make room for life’s important things – which actually aren’t things at all.” They are now bringing their live show Less is Now to Australia this month.
Before coming across minimalism online, Fields Millburn says he was living the American Dream. He had a six-figure salary, a luxury car, “a big suburban house with more toilets than people”. He had, he says, “All the stuff to fill every corner of my consumer-driven life.” But when in the same month his marriage ended and his mother died he reassessed. “I realised I was focused on the wrong stuff.” He was 28 at the time.
Over eight months Fields Millburn got rid of 90 per cent of his possessions. But for him, removing the clutter is not the main game.
“Decluttering is the first step. It’s possible for someone to get rid of all their crap and still be entirely miserable,” he says. “You can come home to an empty house and sulk after removing all of your pacifiers. And that’s because I don’t think consumption is the problem. Compulsory consumption is. And I think we can change that by being more deliberate with the things we bring into our lives and with the things we hold on to.”
Anti-consumerism and acknowledging capitalism does not give a diamond-encrusted iPhone about humanity or the planet is not new. Many movements and individuals (naturist and essayist Henry David Thoreau in the mid-1800s, Roman Stoic philosopher Seneca who lived in the first century, Jesus, some will tell you) have advocated for living a simpler life. And most major religions have a vein of asceticism running through them. Also, Fields Millburn and Nicodemus’s brand of minimalism has plenty in common with Marie Kondo’s KonMari method and the tiny house movement. But the message is being received by The Minimalists’ 20 million followers as revolutionary…
…keep reading the full & original article HERE
“Tell me to what you pay attention and I will tell you who you are.”
Jose Ortega y Gasset
“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”
Aristotle
It is early morning. You’ve had your breakfast and done your morning routine.
So you head out into your day. And in a short while you’ll sit down in school or at your job and get started with your daily work.
But how can you get that work done in a way that is less stressful, less energy consuming and simply a bit smarter?
Today I’d like to share 10 tips that have helped me with that. I hope you will find something here that will help you too to simplify and relaxify your own daily work.
Happiness isn’t feeling good ALL the time.
Happiness IS enjoying positive emotions; but happiness is also understanding and managing “negative” emotions.
OR … happiness is connecting better with ALL emotions.
And if this is something you’d like to do better, then here are 7 ways how…
via Psych Central by Margarita Tartakovsky
Sitting with feelings like sadness or anger or anxiety might be the last thing you want to do. Because they’re uncomfortable. Because it hurts. Because you’re just so tired. Because you feel fragile and exposed. Because you feel ridiculous. Because you’re already frustrated. Because you don’t know how. In fact, many of us don’t know where to start. We don’t know what it looks like to feel a feeling because we simply haven’t done it or done it all that much.
This is when using different techniques to connect to our emotions and express them can help. The below techniques use drawing and/or writing. And they give us different options and different perspectives, depending on what we’re able to explore and feel at the time.
…keep reading the full & original article HERE
via the Ladders by Travis Bradberry
Achievement rarely produces the sense of lasting happiness that you think it will. Once you finally accomplish the goal you’ve been chasing, two new goals tend to pop up unexpectedly.
We long for new achievements because we quickly habituate to what we’ve already accomplished. This habituation to success is as inevitable as it is frustrating, and it’s more powerful than you realize.
The key to beating habituation is to pursue, what researchers call, enduring accomplishments. Unlike run-of-the-mill accomplishments that produce fleeting happiness, the pleasure from enduring accomplishments lasts long after that initial buzz. Enduring accomplishments are so critical that they separate those who are successful and happy from those who are always left wanting more.
Researchers from the Harvard Business School studied this phenomenon by interviewing and assessing professionals who had attained great success. The aim was to break down what these exceptional professionals did differently to achieve both long-lasting and fulfilling success.
The researchers found that people who were both successful and happy over the long term intentionally structured their activities around four major needs:
Happiness: They pursued activities that produced pleasure and satisfaction.
Achievement: They pursued activities that got tangible results.
Significance: They pursued activities that made a positive impact on the people who matter most.
Legacy: They pursued activities through which they could pass their values and knowledge on to others.
Lasting fulfillment comes when you pursue activities that address all four of these needs. When any one of them is missing, you get a nagging sense that you should be doing more (or something different).
The behaviors that follow are the hallmarks of people who are successful and happy because they address these four needs. Try them out and see what they do for you.
Jane Goodall left her home in England and moved to Tanzania at age 26 to begin studying chimpanzees. It became her life’s work, and Goodall has devoted herself fully to her cause while inspiring many others to do the same. Successful, happy people don’t just have interests; they have passions, and they devote themselves completely to them…
…keep reading the full & original article HERE
| What do you see? And what DON’T you see? And are you even aware…
…of what you’re focusing on and/or ignoring? On a recent visit to an art gallery, the following observations were made:
The fact is, we were all in the same place; but we were all “seeing” it differently. This happens all the time. And more often than not it’s inconsequential. But we know the way we view the world can and does, at times, impact on the way we live in the world. Our thoughts and perceptions influence our moods and behaviours; not to mention how we interact with others. So how we “see” the world can, therefore, be very important. But are you even aware of how you see the world? If not, do you even know if your thoughts and perspectives are helpful or not? If you’re like most people then the answer is probably “NO”! Which means the first step to consider is becoming more aware and mindful of what’s going through your mind……So that’s today’s mailing. Take some time to reflect upon the message and how it might apply to you. Check out, also, the links below for some additional readings and resources. I hope it helps you enjoy some more happiness. Until next time… Keep well & keep smiling |
Unless you’re 100% happy 100% of the time, you probably have some ideas about how life could be better.
Unless you’re perfect, you could probably improve.
Happiness and success require constant work and ongoing adjustments; which means change.
And many people think change is hard and takes time. Which it does. But you can also make changes to your life immediately as indicated in the article below…
via Inc.com by Lolly Daskal
There’s an old joke where a man says, “I really want to go to medical school, but it takes at least seven years–and I’ll be 50 in seven years!” A wise friend replies, “And how old will you be in seven years if you don’t go?”
If you’re not where you want to be in your career–or, for that matter, in your life–never let yourself believe change is impossible. Don’t allow your future to be limited by your age or your situation; stop being afraid of what might go wrong and start getting excited about what could go right.
Here are 10 ways you can begin right now to steer yourself toward a more fulfilled and happy life:
Life is made up of choices–some we regret, some we’re proud of, some that will hurt us. Everything in your career and your life is a reflection of a choice you have made. If you want different results, start making different choices…
…keep reading the full & original article HERE
Happy people are more grateful.
Grateful people are happier.
Happiness and gratitude are intricately linked.
And the good news, for those wanting more happiness, is that gratitude can be learned and practiced…
via Inc.com by Matthew Jones
Being a responsible adult sucks.
As a young adult entering my thirties, I’m starting to see more and more that the responsibility I once craved is vastly overrated.
Thinking back to childhood, I recall a feeling of spaciousness in which time didn’t exist.
Those hours spent playing outside and running around the neighborhood created a buoyant experience that only knew it was time to go home by the growl of my stomach or the orange setting sun.
Although I didn’t recognize it as such at the time, in that fun and light atmosphere, I tasted freedom.
Currently working as a coach, licensed therapist, and doctorate student has forced my default setting to change from one of relaxation to productivity. And that’s had a noticeable impact on my mood.
I now sprint through my task list feeling the pressure to perform at a high level every day, effectively turning this race into a marathon. This mentality has slowly decreased the amount of time I spend in stillness and tranquility. And that’s what makes practicing gratitude even more important.
When you’re used to performing at a high level, you start overlooking the small things that make your life worth living. You fail to appreciate the blessings that make the marathon worth running. And you forget to soak up every moment with your loved ones.
Pausing to reflect and truly feel appreciative for the millions of things going well in your daily life is one of the most valuable practices you can do.
Practicing gratitude not only helps you feel more grounded and peaceful, it also improves your ability to share that love with others. To give back. Say thank you. And re-commit to your heart-held values.
Below is an exercise that can be written or completed aloud. Each number can be used as an individual practice or all 7 can be combined into one exercise.
Here are 7 easy gratitude exercises that make everyone–even the most pessimistic people–feel happier…
…keep reading the full & original article HERE
