How to Stay in the Present Moment in Everyday Life: 5 Simple Habits

“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.”
Buddha

There is only one time and place where you can be and have any control over.

The present moment.

But most of us still spend a lot of our regular days lost in memories, reliving a sunny vacation or maybe more commonly repeating an old conflict or negative situation over and over in our thoughts.

Or we get lost in scenarios about what could happen in the future. Maybe through wishful daydreams. Or maybe by building monsters in our minds as thoughts go round and and round and create scary and dangerous mountains out of molehills or just air.

Or your thoughts may become split and unfocused between several different things and tasks.

If you spend a lot of your everyday moments and time in the future or the past or you have difficulty focusing and you feel this may have a negative effect on your life then maybe you want to learn to live more in the present moment.

Here’s what works for me to do that. Just a few simple things that I use in my normal day.

1. Single-task not only your work.

I and many others have often written and talked about the importance of single-tasking your work to get it done more effectively.

I have found that it becomes easier for me to stay present for more time throughout my day if I single-task everything as best I can.

That means to not use tabs when I browse the internet but to just be fully engaged with one thing online at a time. It means to not use my smartphone or my computer as I also try to watch the TV. Or to use any of those internet-devices during a conversation.

Get a good start to your day and set the tone for it by doing one thing at a time as soon as you wake up.

If you have to multitask, then try to set off some specific time for it during your day. Maybe an hour or so in the afternoon.

2. Do it slowly.

When you wake up and starting doing your first thing of the day, then slow it down a bit.

Do it and the next few things at a relaxed and calm pace. It will probably not take that much longer than if you do it quickly. And you’ll be able to stay present more easily, to focus on each thing you do and to find a simple joy or stillness in it.

Do that instead of increasing your stress right away and getting stuck in worries or though loops about what may happen today before you even have had your breakfast.

And as you move through your day, try to do it slowly when you can.

3. Tell yourself: now I am…

As I do something I simply tell myself this in my mind: Now I am X.

For example, if I am brushing my teeth, then I tell myself: Now I am brushing my teeth.

This habit is maybe most important when doing things where it is easy to drift away to the future or past. It could be when you brush your hair or teeth or when you are taking a walk to the supermarket.

I don’t tell myself this line all the time, but I pepper it in a couple of times throughout my day.

4. Minimize what you let into your head early in the day.

If I check the email, Facebook and other websites online early in the day then I have found that I will have more thoughts bouncing around in my head. And so it becomes a lot harder to concentrate on anything, to stay present and to not be dragged away into some negative thought loop.

So the kind option towards myself has become to not check anything early in the day. And to check things as few times as I can.

If I minimize such things then my day becomes lighter and simpler and I not only stay present more easily but I also tend to get more things of importance done.

5. No, no, no + reconnect with the here and now.

The four tips above make it easier to stay in the present moment and to use it and enjoy it fully. But each day I still drift into the past or the future. Or my thoughts become split between different things.

If you have read any of my stuff on self-esteem then you know that I often use a stop-word or phrase to quickly disrupt and stop the inner critic or a self-esteem damaging train of thought. I do the same thing here.

As quickly as I notice that my thoughts have drifted away I say to myself: No, no, no.

Then I quickly follow that up with focusing on just my breathing or just on what is happening around me right now with all my senses for a minute or two to draw myself back into this present moment.

32 proven ways to become happier

There are so many proven ways to become happier.

And you’ve probably seen and heard of most, if not all of them.

But we all know that creating happiness is an ongoing, never ending project – so if you want a good summary of all the happiness boosting strategies out there, then keep reading…

via the Huffington Post by Andrew Merle

Want to design your life to make it happier?

Then start taking some tips from New York Times best-selling author Dan Buettner, who has spent the last 15 years studying the people around the world who are living the healthiest and happiest lives, and discovering what the rest of us can learn from them.

Buettner just released his latest book, The Blue Zones of Happiness, which reveals the secrets of the world’s happiest places (from Costa Rica to Denmark to Singapore), and shows how to apply their lessons to our own lives.

I recently finished the book (covering research from 141 countries overall), took detailed notes, and came away with 32 proven and actionable ways to make your life happier.

Some of these tips are simple and easy to implement immediately, while others are more relevant when considering major life changes.

I highly recommend reading the full book, but if you are short on time hopefully this cheat sheet will help you add more joy to your life.

The following happiness practices are broken out into four life categories: Social, Work, Self, and Home (with some obvious crossover among the four).

Social

1. Socialize for at least 6 hours per day

Research shows that people are happiest on days when they socialize for at least 6 hours. Unfortunately, Americans socialize for an average of only 41 minutes per day.

2. Live with a loving partner

3. Join a club that aligns with your interests and passions

Research has shown that joining a group that meets even once a month produces the same happiness boost as doubling your income.

This could be a book club, walking club, wine tasting club, faith-based club, sports club, or anything else that is meaningful for you. Prioritize clubs that have members similar to you in age, values, and interests in order to make new friends.

4. Choose a few active relationships with good friends over a lot of casual acquaintances

5. Set a weekly family dinner and invite your extended family

6. Develop daily social rituals

E.g. Impromptu happy hours, pot lucks, or backyard barbecues with friends…

…keep reading the full & original article HERE

Happiness is other people

via the NY Times by Ruth Whippman

In a particularly low moment a few years back, after arriving friendless and lonely from Britain to live in the United States, I downloaded a “happiness app” onto my phone. It was surprisingly hard to choose one. There were close to a thousand bliss-promising options in the app store — ones that would teach you to meditate or be grateful, or that would send you photomontages of sunsets and puppies or unfeasibly flattering shots of your loved ones (giving you a moment to temporarily ignore your actual, less attractive loved ones.)

The app I eventually chose messaged me every hour or so with a positive affirmation that I was supposed to repeat to myself over and over. “I am beautiful,” or “I am enough.” The problem was, every time my phone buzzed with an incoming message, I would get a Pavlovian jolt of excitement thinking an actual person was trying to contact me. “I am enough,” I would snarl bitterly upon realizing the truth, unable to shake the feeling that, without friends or community, I really wasn’t.

“Happiness comes from within,” said the inspirational photo-card in my Facebook news feed a few days later, the loopy white meme-font set against a backdrop of a woman contorted into a yoga pose so tortuous it looked as though she might actually be investigating her own innards trying to locate her bliss.

Having spent the last few years researching and writing a book about happiness and anxiety in America, I’ve noticed that this particular strain of happiness advice — the kind that pitches the search for contentment as an internal, personal quest, divorced from other people — has become increasingly common. Variations include “Happiness is determined not by what’s happening around you, but what’s happening inside you”; “Happiness should not depend on other people”; and the perky and socially shareable “Happiness is an inside job.” One email I received from a self-help mailing list even doubled down on the idea with the turbocharged word mash-up “withinwards,” (although when the subject heading “Go Withinwards” landed in my inbox I briefly thought it was an ad for a nose-to-tail offal restaurant.)

…keep reading the full & original article HERE

Do this 1 thing to make the most of the last 2 months of this year!

via Inc.com by Nicolas Cole

Remember back in January, 2017, when you made that big long list of goals?

How many did you actually accomplish? How many did you give up on?

People have no problem setting goals.

The challenge is in seeing them through to the end.

With just two months left in the year, I encourage you think about your goals a bit differently. Come November, most people start to feel a great deal of angst about how the year went. They either feel a huge sense of accomplishment and choose to take it easy for the remainder of the year–or they feel a sense of failure and scramble to get somethingdone in order to feel accomplished.

I suggest not doing either.

The best way to finish a year out is to reflect on what worked, and what didn’t.

This isn’t something that needs to take weeks and weeks.

In fact, it should only take an hour–and you should do it this week.

Instead of kicking back and waiting for the year to end (and then starting 2018 behind), or instead of rushing to finish a half-baked project, make it a point this week to pause first.

Question how you got to this point.

If you’ve been productive, what caused that productivity? Good habits? Saying “No” to distractions?

If you’ve been unproductive, how did that happen? Bad habits? Saying “Yes” to things that are distractions?

Being successful, in any capacity, has just as much to do with understanding why things happen the way they do, as it does just putting your head down and grinding through it.

This week, here are some questions you should ask yourself…

…keep reading the full & original article HERE

What really makes employees happy at work?

via Inc.com by Sonia Thompson

In the book The Happiness Advantage, author Shawn Achor laid out an abundance of scientific evidence proving that “happiness is the precursor to success, not merely the result.” The research shows that happiness among employees fuels performance and achievement, resulting in a competitive edge many companies crave.

But although the data points to why cultivating a happy culture is a smart growth strategy, many businesses struggle with how to do so. As a result, far too many companies end up with a workforce that is disengaged and draining more value than they are contributing. No bueno.

Thankfully, one company did the work to give you some insights on what employees need most to feel happy at work, as well as how to deliver on that feedback.

What really makes employees happy at work

Dapulse, creators of a workplace collaboration tool designed to help teams operate within a culture of transparency, conducted a survey of 10,000 of its users. In their research, they asked a simple question:

What makes you happy at work?

Leah Walters, head of communications at Dapulse, gave some insight into the findings:

“Of the eight attributes that we offered people to ‘rank the order of what makes you happiest,’ salary came last. It came last amongst the manager section, and it came last among general working employees…Of course, there’s this certain amount of money that people need to survive, and that’s very important, but beyond that, people are looking for different kinds of things.”

She noted that the attributes that rose to the top of what drove employee happiness was working for a company that was best in its field, supported innovation, and had the kind of culture that they wanted to work in.

Company culture, their data noted, is rising to the top as a reason why employees love going to work each day. And increasingly, businesses are working to incorporate attractive perks that help contribute to positive culture…

…keep reading the full & original article HERE

Don’t try to think your way out of unhappiness; try these tips instead…

via Inc.com by Matthew Jones

Even the smartest and most successful people are unhappy. Take one of my clients, I’ll call him George, for example.

George is a key player in a large tech firm. He’s not only a driven team leader always aiming to improve performance, he’s also intelligent, wealthy, and–you guessed it–unhappy.

He’s the type of guy who, no matter what problem you throw at him, will find a solution and excel–he’s just that determined. Unfortunately, his masterful ability maintain a laser-like focus on evolving goals–the thing that makes him successful–also is the mechanism that prevents his happiness.

Happiness is widely misunderstood.

In the context of our Western culture, Americans are taught that happiness is an external object–a commodity that can be purchased. We think that we’ll be happy once we “earn enough money,” or get the respect and recognition we deserve, but none of these things have anything to do with real happiness.

Genuine happiness emerges when you stop creating your own unhappiness.

Unhappiness is thinking. The mind is the most brilliant tool we have as humans. When applied strategically, it can improve people’s lives and lead to positive social change. But when you live in a world created by the mind–constantly comparing yourselves to others, thinking about the future, ruminating over the past–then there’s no escaping it.

You are bound to your thoughts.

Caged like an animal, you have no idea that you shackled yourself. You built the trap and then walked into it. By the time you started avoiding uncomfortable emotions by trying to think your way out of them, the plan was already set in motion.

The truth is that happiness is the unconditioned presence in which we all exist.

To discover happiness, then, means that you need to get out of your own way. You need to find the volume dial of your mind, and turn it down. You need to recognize that your thinking–your search for a solution to your pain, your seeking of external happiness, and your contemplation of all things outside of the present moment–creates unhappiness.

If real happiness is the sun, you are the clouds.

These clouds fill with rain the more that you think through your emotional discomfort, the more that you remove yourself from the here-and-now, the more that you dilute your experience of now with thoughts of then. The darker and denser these clouds become, the less light you see, the less warmth you feel, and the faster you forget that the sun is always shining.

Stop preventing the rain.

Allow your thoughts to flow like leaves on a river. There’s no need to get hyper-focused on each one. There’s no need to give them more power than they deserve. Even if thinking is what makes you successful, like George, you still need to practice turning down the volume so that your emotions can be fully embraced, experienced, honored–and then, understood.

When you turn down the volume of your thoughts, you become more intelligent. You become more attuned to the feeling-of-being, the presence in which we all exist. And when you feel that sacred rhythm, like waves in the ocean, you realize that happiness is always present–the sun is always shining.

Real happiness is being–not doing.

A famous guru named Krishnamurti once said, “The ability to observe without evaluating is the highest form of intelligence.” And he’s correct–the most intelligent people are the ones who recognize the limitations and shortcomings of their mind.

In my work with George, five simple steps aided our ability to deepen his experience of happiness…

…keep reading the full & original article HERE

8 ways to take charge of your life!

Happiness is partly about accepting the realities of the word…good and bad.

But happiness is also taking charge of that which can be changed and controlled!

So today, in the interests of creating more happiness and better lives, I’m happy to share with you 8 powerful ways to take charge of your life…

via Pick The Brain by Joseph Chukwube

Quite a lot of people have, at one time or another, found themselves at the last rung of the ladder.

If you do a random sampling, you will find out that a lot of people have passed through this stage of life.

While some decided to resign to fate, others felt they must put in a fight to effect a change in their fortunes.

The fact is that we can fall at any point in our life but what makes the difference and what determines the type of stuff you are made of is whether or not you are able to pick yourself up, dust your butt, and tell yourself “I’m going to give it a resounding whack.”

If for any reason you are struggling to pick yourself up and take charge of your life, the following 8 effective ways come in handy as the magic wand you have been waiting for.

1. Avoid detractors

As someone striving to stand back on their feet, this is the very first thing you should do.

Detractors are the people who originally wanted you to be in that situation. They are a total bunch of no-gooders

They prefer to have you laze about with them. They practically have no goal in life and you will only end up being miserable in their midst.

2. People already walked the path, Pick a role model

Now that you have decided to take charge, it will make a very big step in the right direction if you have a role model. This is somebody you may like to fashion your life after.

Incidentally, there are thousands of people who have made it starting from the scratch. You may even discover that what you experienced was more of a stumble when you come across some of the successful individuals who call the shots today.

3. Don’t just work, Map out your goals

Goals and targets put a spirit of competition into all you do. You must have a yardstick to measure how far you are going about accomplishing what you have set out to do.

You will be charged up to do more once you realize that you are not meeting up with your target.

“Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible.” – Tony Robbins

…keep reading the full & original article HERE